How to Remember Anyone’s Name Instantly—And Why It Matters More Than You Think
How to Remember Anyone’s Name Instantly—And Why It Matters More Than You Think
“When you remember someone’s name, it shows them they matter.” — Robin Dreeke, Former FBI Behavioural Analyst and Author
(Dreeke led the FBI’s Behavioural Analysis Programme and teaches rapport-building as a core component of field intelligence gathering. Name recall is a major trust trigger.)
A while back, someone I couldn’t remember walked up to me and said, “Hey, Destiny!”
I froze for a second.
I recognised the face somehow, but the name was well out of reach. … He added, “You’re Destiny, right?”
I nodded, a bit uncertain, and said, “Yeah, we met at… You know, that place near the corner, by the coffee shop,” he continued.
I laughed it off: “Yes, yes, yes!
Mind reminding me of your name?”
He did it again, even though he’d done it before.
My bad. I said firmly.
I smiled, but on the inside, I knew I had to do better.
That kind of forgetfulness felt sloppy. A sin, I would call it.
I’ve always wanted to improve my ability to remember names, and it turns out that this skill is seriously underrated nowadays.
It’s timeless because names are an integral part of who we are as humans.
They're like the tattoos we're born with: permanent and personal.
You see?
We frequently pursue hard skills, but soft skills such as listening, empathy, communication, remembering names, and acknowledging people, even with a simple nod or a well-timed "uh-huh," go a long way towards developing strong relationships and trust.
Honestly, by the time you finish this letter, you’ll understand a simple method to remembering names automatically—and boost how others see you and how you feel about yourself.
The Glen Story: Proof This Works
About two years ago, I was working casual shifts at David Jones, a fashion outlet, here in Burke Street Mall, Melbourne.
My supervisor was Glen, a tall guy who managed the floor with ease.
Cool and soft.
We worked together for a few weeks before I moved on.
Now, here is the intriguing aspect of the matter.
Two years later, I was assigned to another David Jones establishment situated at a considerable distance across town—a location I had not previously visited.
I registered my arrival, proceeded to the Click & Collect department, and entered the elevator together with a colleague, whom he had sent to catch up with me.
Inside, towering above all, was Glen.
“Hey, Glen!” I said with a grin.
He looked genuinely surprised. “Wait… how do you remember me?” He asked.
The shock on his face was so authentic, you could tell he felt something.
And guess what? A few minutes later, I think, the dopamine hit took longer to expire, and Glen asked if I’d be interested in a full-time role at that branch.
At first, it felt good; however, I declined, not because I wasn’t flattered, but because that path didn’t align with my goals.
I’m not interested in chasing superficial wealth.
Be in a designer’s suit but not suited.
Titles without entitlement.
Looking good on the outside, but bleeding on the inside.
What truly mattered was remembering Glen’s name—it left a real impression on him and even opened a door I never expected to walk through.
The technique I use
When someone tells you their name, hold onto it. No rush.
Drop everything else in that moment.
No worries about where they’re from or what they do.
Focus only on the name. That’s the one thing that matters in that instant.
Then, associate or match the name with something you already know.
It could be a place, a song, a celebrity—anything that links the name to something already stored in your mental faculty.
That’s what I did with Glen, and it worked without a glitch.
I linked Glen’s name to Glen Waverley, a Melbourne suburb I’d passed a few weeks earlier.
The connection was quick and effortless.
The name, as per Glen Waverley, was already filed in my mental “address book”—and it stuck.
The more you do this, the sharper your memory becomes.
It starts to feel automatic.
These days, I rarely forget names—no matter how long or tricky they seem. The brain works with you as long as you give it a playbook or pre-training.
Test Case: The “J” Crew
Just last month, I was on a full-day mail-sorting shift in Mulgrave, in Melbourne’s south-east.
The warehouse manager was Sherry, probably in her 50s, and the rest of the team ranged from mid-50s to late 60s. Surprised, yeah? Read on, my friend…
None of them introduced themselves, but I caught their names in background conversations: Junior, George, Julian—all “J” names. That made the association even easier. I smiled and agreed with my newfound skillset.
Later, I echoed each one of them by name.
One of the older girls said, “You’re good at remembering names.”
I smiled. “I try to be, I said.”
The truth is, I used to be terrible at it, I continued.
The vibe changed instantly.
She feels warmer.
She burned through her cigarette slower than usual, each drag deliberate, like she was trying to measure her thoughts between the smoke.
The same lady, graceful, stylish, and confident, smiled when I complimented her perfume.
She said, “Thank you,” and suddenly the place felt like home.
It felt like I’d been working there for years. I’ll never forget that work environment anytime soon.
Here’s the takeaway:
Listen carefully for the name. No matter how hard or boring the name may seem, it may seem boring to you but super sweet to the bearer.
Ignore everything else for a second. Pay attention.
Match the name to something familiar.
Store it with intention.
Use it as soon as possible.
Even over the phone, it still delivers.
Don’t forget—you might not see the other person during the conversation, but it’s still human interaction. You have to make them feel seen and heard.
In fact, the more you practice this act, the more willing they’ll be to go above and beyond, delivering an exceptional service for less.
If needed, jot down their name.
Trust me, it pays off and is worth the effort.
The result is not magic, but it feels like it.
And when you practice this enough, you’ll move through the world a little more smoothly.
People will notice.
Doors will open.
You’ll feel more in control.
Thanks for reading.
Oh, and before I forget, this letter is brought to you by trekwiser.com
Your all-in-one AI-powered travel toolkit and prize comparison engine, fueled by 100+ intelligent agents.
Feel free to check it out.
Until next time,
— Destiny
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